I was recently visiting one of my close friends and she was in state of distress. Her husband had decided to buy a sex doll and had not discussed it with her. She was so hurt and angry that he was disregarding her feelings.
I could see her outrage when she told me about it, saying how it was a betrayal of the trust that she thought they had. She was honestly disappointed that her husband wanted to take a short cut and buy something like that behind her back.
I could understand her feelings; how she was sad as well as frustrated. Even though I thought her husband’s decision was out of line, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was perhaps a result of the couple’s lack of intimacy. I asked her if this was a problem that the two of them had discussed, to which she replied with a blunt “No”.
I tried to console her by telling her that maybe her husband didn’t really understand how wrong this could be taken by her and that maybe it could become a conversation for them to have.
I tried to encourage her to try talking to her husband about this and to see how he truly felt about it, or if his intention had been to disrespect her. I told her to consider this as an opportunity for them to come together closer and clear the air as to where they both stood in terms of the importance of their relationship.
My friend agreed that it was the right step forward and so decided to do just that. When next I visited her, her mood had changed much to relief. She said that talking to her husband about the sex doll had ended up being one of the best conversations the two of them had ever had; understanding each another’s demands and wishes in more clarity than ever before. This helped her to take the idea of the sex doll off the table and talk about it as a working couple.
Totally blown away by her courage, I asked her to share her story with me in more detail. She said that she had sat his husband down with the intention to make him realize that buying that sex doll had hurt her feelings so much but during the course of their conversation, instead of getting angry or feeling defensive, her husband had opened up to her and shared his insecurities and needs that he felt had been neglected.
As it turned out, her husband had had misconstrued himself with the feeling that she didn’t think he was attractive or desirable enough. In fact, it was this need to feel wanted and loved that had driven him towards the idea of the sex toys doll in the first place.
My friend was calming relieved after realizing the hidden motives that had triggered her husband’s decision. She gained more understanding and insight into the relationship and about how they could make things better. We all know how communication and understanding go a long way in any relationship; this particular situation only proved this fact even further!
I asked her if there was anything specifically that she had done that had ultimately resolved everything between the two of them. She said that she had appreciated his confession and apologized if she had made him feel neglected and unwanted in any way. Then, she had requested him to seek out different ways of showing his love and affection for her, to make sure there was no space for sex toys insecurity or doubt in the mind.